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We should arrange to have tee-shirts printed for every member of Fianna Fáil, with the message 'Wasn't Me' printed over the capacious belly area. The skeletal corpse of the Progressive Democrats could also be made to wear one. It would make a nice Christmas photo, and they wouldn't cost all that much, beyond the measly few million euros that a consultancy firm would have to charge to conduct a study on their feasibility. And naturally they would be made in China, which really is much more practical than that silly protectionist nonsense about propping up the indigenous tee-shirt manufacturing industry.
"Wasn't me," said Charlie McCreevy on Miriam Meets... (RTE Radio One) last Sunday. The former finance minister appeared on the programme with his wife Noeleen, who doubled as his private secretary for most of his parliamentary career, after the Fianna Fáil fashion of keeping jobs in the family.
After the usual Miriam Meets-style heartfelt chat about childhood and marriage and the wonders of Kildare and the impact of politics on family life and what have you, the conversation turned to politics, and not a minute too soon.
McCreevy spoke highly of his achievements as finance minister between 1997 and 2004, after the Fianna Fáil fashion for speaking highly of oneself. He regrets nothing. "Non! Rien de rien!" he cried, or should have, as he's been a proper European now for quite some time.
"We did what we did in the best interests of the people," he said, without specifying which people. "The figures are there to prove that the Irish economy had its greatest growth rates ever at that particular period of time."
He said: "We had budget surpluses every year in that particular period of time" and that unemployment fell to 4% in that particular period of time, and that the tax cuts in that particular period of time "helped move the economy".
Miriam Metes out a little punishment. She asked McCreevy if he was a PD at heart – (does a bear powder her snout in the woods?) – to which he replied, enigmatically, "people can't have it both ways".
McCreevy did admit that "what happened with the property bubble is something that can be looked at". Have you noticed the way "looking at" things has become part of a new, creepy political vernacular? There are things that "have to be looked at", which means, "This is someone else's problem", and there are things that "can" be looked at, which means, "This is no longer my problem". Either way, wasn't me.
Meanwhile, in China, where they make all the tee-shirts, the pretence of worrying about what the rest of the world thinks has finally been dropped.
On From Our Own Correspondent (BBC Radio 4) Quentin Sommerville revealed what is going on "beneath the glossy surface of the new China", though really, anyone who thinks the new China has a glossy surface must be letting themselves get behind with their reading.
Sommerville reported on the case of human rights activist and former university professor Liu Xiaobo, who has been in jail or under house arrest for most of the past 20 years. He now faces new charges of 'inciting subversion to the Chinese state' and could be jailed for up to 15 years. His crime was the publication of a democratic manifesto "calling for freedom of expression, multi-party elections, independent courts and for the military to be answerable to the government and not the Communist Party", Sommerville reported.
Liu's wife told Sommerville that her phone calls are being monitored, she has been denied internet access and plain-clothes police "lurk" outside her home. Her husband will almost certainly be convicted, as the judicial system is under the total control of the Communist Party.
However, the point of Sommerville's report was not to draw attention to yet another example of China's manifest disregard for civil liberties. It was to point out a more recent change in China's attitude to world opinion about its abuses. It appears to have entirely ignored Barack Obama's murmurings about human rights concerns on his recent visit.
"It was President Clinton who said human rights should not be allowed to interfere in relations with China. Beijing took this to heart, because if there are no adverse consequences, why bow to western pressure?" asked Sommerville, growing increasingly angry.
"Despite the wishes of radicals like Liu Xiaobo, since Tiananmen, there has not been much appetite here for democratic reform," he said. "People have grown richer, and are largely content under the Communist Party's rule."
We used to say much the same thing here, back in Charlie McCreevy's day.
etynan@tribune.ie
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